space age

I thought I had enough power, enough energy or space in my heart or whatever, to feel how I feel about all these people. I totally did. I was not stretched out or overexerted and didn’t feel like I was feeling too much. fine, just fine. the only thing I neglected to think of was the feeling of losing hope with all these people. that, that is bad, beyond my emotional fucking capabilities. not that I am blaming others for my inability to cope. oh no. I am blaming my own lack of foresight, of self-responsibility, of maturity, of whatever. I’m fourteen for three more weeks and I aim to be the fourteen-y-est I can be. The most clueless, idealistic, crazy, ridiculous, youthful, immature, naive I can be.