monday? tuesday? may? june?

bursting. so many things to thinksayfeelbe.

alas.

wordless. no time to try and find them, at least, and nothing pressing its way out of my lips or hands.

instead I attempt to force to world to cooperate with my plans, and it doesn’t. I cannot get what I want from anyone or anything, even myself.

I am vague and cryptic and manipulative and cruel and it doesn’t accomplish anything except making me feel like the cold-hearted-but-gorgeous girl in the movies. unfortunately I am not really very much either of those things. I want a lot that I can’t have…everything I want I can’t have, everything immaterial, and the material things end up sitting like my great-grandmother’s matzoh balls in my stomach. not that I ever had those, but I’ve heard stories.

sleep is the only feasible choice, because all the dreamy things I’d rather do won’t help me in the morning.

goodnight.